Laura Zera

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Weird Pug Things: The Definitive Guide

By Laura Zera 20 Comments

Google “pug” and you will read that they are charming, even-tempered, fun-loving clowns. But there are some things about pugs that no one ever thinks to talk about. But me? I think about these things. And I’m going to tell you.

I’ve used my three pugs — Ozwald (1997-2007), Yolanda (2005-2015) and Phoebe (who we just brought home on May 3, 2015) — to create a handy benchmark chart of some of the kinds of things you can expect when you own a pug.

Trait OzwaldOzwald Pug
YolandaYolanda Pug
PhoebePhoebe Pug
Farting Like a boss Almost never Selective and deadly
Obsessive licking of the air

No

Is 30-40 minutes at a time obsessive? No
Obsessive licking of the furniture and floor No Is 30-40 minutes at a time obsessive? No
Obsessive licking of you No “Quit licking my boobs” was a common refrain in my house No
Anal glands that leave potato-painting-like imprints on your clothes and stink like three-week-old unrefrigerated fish in the height of summer Yes Yes Yes
Plays “crazy pug” (tail tucks under body, pug rounds itself until it looks like a bloated tick, runs around in zig-zag patterns then falls to ground in a heap after 20 seconds) Yes Yes Yes
Snores Like a freight train Like two freight trains Like a diesel bus
Displays food aggression around other animals Insta-Cujo Like Billy Idol, but mean After two pugs, the cat has finally learned to stay away from the pug’s food dish, so we haven’t seen Phoebe flip her lid *yet*
Comes when called Yes Never Never gets far away enough from me to need to be called
Runs the other way when called No Always No
Bark sounds like The Hamburglar Yes Yes Yes
Sleeps while sitting up Yes Yes, until she fell over Yes
Would make nail trims a fight to the death Yes. Was refused service at two grooming establishments. No, but she liked it better than getting a thermometer up her butt No, but shakes like a pudgy little leaf
Good on road trips Even liked to sleep in a tent I’d almost forget I had a dog in the car As long as the air-con is cranked
Proficient at “pug love” (sits like mushy lump on lap) Yes, except see “Anal glands” above No (see above under “Obsessive licking”) Yes, and makes happy pug sounds
Ears full of wax Like the La Brea Tar Pits. Stock up on Q-Tips.
Brave and courageous Afraid of rejection (but aren’t we all?) Afraid of round metal pizza pan Afraid of airplanes overhead, sneezes, parked cars, the vacuum cleaner, the microwave door and black-and-white tile flooring
Loyal and faithful Always there for me. Sensed when I was depressed and stayed ridiculously close during those periods. Even when she ran in the other direction, I always knew she’d come back. Because I had the food. And I knew how to rub her belly the way she really liked. She’s been with me for a week, and she’s already Velcro
Forever changed my life for the better YES YES YES

 Are you a pug owner? I’d love it if you shared something strange and/or lovable about your pug!

Weird & Wonderful: Show Us Your Pets!

By Laura Zera 21 Comments

It’s the furry, four-legged friends that are getting the headline today because I’ve realized that when you know something about a person’s pets, you feel like you know the person better. I’m all about connection with people, so if you have a dog or cat or bunny or even an iguana, I want you to post a comment with a link to your blog or Facebook page or Flickr account or wherever we can see a favorite or funny pic or two of your pets.

Show us your pets!

Animals are also always so good at getting us to forget the trivial stuff (board meetings, budgets, bosses, etc.) and reminding us of what’s important (and/or demanding food. Now.) I call them “therapy in a small package.” Unless you have a Great Dane.

I’m posting two photos of my eight-year-old pug, Yolanda. We brought her home as a two year old, and she came to us with a pacifier habit. Yes, we’ve exaggerated the ridiculousness of it by purchasing “special” binkys for her over the years, but what are you going to do with a dog as funny looking as a pug except make it look funnier? Here are two of my faves, and No Hablo and Big Teeth.

Yolanda Pug - No Hablo binky

Yolanda Pug - teeth binkyNow it’s your turn.

And have a great week!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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