Google “pug” and you will read that they are charming, even-tempered, fun-loving clowns. But there are some things about pugs that no one ever thinks to talk about. But me? I think about these things. And I’m going to tell you.
I’ve used my three pugs — Ozwald (1997-2007), Yolanda (2005-2015) and Phoebe (who we just brought home on May 3, 2015) — to create a handy benchmark chart of some of the kinds of things you can expect when you own a pug.
| Trait | Ozwald |
Yolanda |
Phoebe |
| Farting | Like a boss | Almost never | Selective and deadly |
| Obsessive licking of the air |
No |
Is 30-40 minutes at a time obsessive? | No |
| Obsessive licking of the furniture and floor | No | Is 30-40 minutes at a time obsessive? | No |
| Obsessive licking of you | No | “Quit licking my boobs” was a common refrain in my house | No |
| Anal glands that leave potato-painting-like imprints on your clothes and stink like three-week-old unrefrigerated fish in the height of summer | Yes | Yes | Yes |
| Plays “crazy pug” (tail tucks under body, pug rounds itself until it looks like a bloated tick, runs around in zig-zag patterns then falls to ground in a heap after 20 seconds) | Yes | Yes | Yes |
| Snores | Like a freight train | Like two freight trains | Like a diesel bus |
| Displays food aggression around other animals | Insta-Cujo | Like Billy Idol, but mean | After two pugs, the cat has finally learned to stay away from the pug’s food dish, so we haven’t seen Phoebe flip her lid *yet* |
| Comes when called | Yes | Never | Never gets far away enough from me to need to be called |
| Runs the other way when called | No | Always | No |
| Bark sounds like The Hamburglar | Yes | Yes | Yes |
| Sleeps while sitting up | Yes | Yes, until she fell over | Yes |
| Would make nail trims a fight to the death | Yes. Was refused service at two grooming establishments. | No, but she liked it better than getting a thermometer up her butt | No, but shakes like a pudgy little leaf |
| Good on road trips | Even liked to sleep in a tent | I’d almost forget I had a dog in the car | As long as the air-con is cranked |
| Proficient at “pug love” (sits like mushy lump on lap) | Yes, except see “Anal glands” above | No (see above under “Obsessive licking”) | Yes, and makes happy pug sounds |
| Ears full of wax | Like the La Brea Tar Pits. Stock up on Q-Tips. | ||
| Brave and courageous | Afraid of rejection (but aren’t we all?) | Afraid of round metal pizza pan | Afraid of airplanes overhead, sneezes, parked cars, the vacuum cleaner, the microwave door and black-and-white tile flooring |
| Loyal and faithful | Always there for me. Sensed when I was depressed and stayed ridiculously close during those periods. | Even when she ran in the other direction, I always knew she’d come back. Because I had the food. And I knew how to rub her belly the way she really liked. | She’s been with me for a week, and she’s already Velcro |
| Forever changed my life for the better | YES | YES | YES |
Are you a pug owner? I’d love it if you shared something strange and/or lovable about your pug!
hahahahahaha
My neighbours think I’m being murdered in here, I’m laughing so hysterically.
Thank you, dear girl. 🙂
Hurray, I’m so happy it brought the laughs! Always good to keep the neighbors guessing, too. 😀
It got me thinking about my pups of different breeds. My little Aussie terrier saw herself 50ft tall in the mirror, and feared nothing… even when she should have (snakes, poisonous toads, pit bulls etc). My cattle dog/border collie thinks most unfamiliar things are about to murder us all in our beds, especially beetles. Oh the horror of the day he was enjoying some relaxing “crate time” and a tiny beetle crawled in. How small can a 1-metre long dog cram himself up one end of a crate, and how much noise can he make??? On the plus side, he feareth not the vacuum cleaner, but is instead convinced it is a special and delightful game designed just for him. (This can be endearing or downright annoying, depending on my mood and how much of a rush I’m in. Having a largish dog shout “Geronimo!” and leap onto the vacuum head every few seconds does tend to slow things down…)
Now I’m the one who is laughing. Hilarious. Geronimooooooo!
Well, I’m not at all a dog person, but even I can see the appeal in your little trio, Laura. So glad Phoebe’s arrived to fill the pug-shaped gap in your household now.
Thank you, Debbie! She is fitting right in at our weird little homestead. xo
I miss your sense of humor, I haven’t been here in a while! This was so entertaining! Hugs!
Hi Jodi! So nice to see you! Hugs to you as well. And I do need to tell you that I LOVE your new website look. xox
So funny! Almost makes me want to run out and get a pug of mine own. Almost. But the cats would kill me. Then they’d kill the pug. Cats rule our house. (There must a gigantic flaw in my personality that I even allow that.)
Thank you, Jagoda! No, not a personality flaw — you’ve just described 95% of the cats in the world. Our cat also rules the house but luckily, she likes to have a pug.
Hey Laura,
I love this! All of my pugs snorted as well as snored. That little snort conveyed all manner of moods in response to a question, but more often than not annoyance with poor benighted humans for not understanding pug!
Haa! Yes, the snort. Although in allergy season, it’s the wet snort. 😛 Thanks, Roz.
Oh dear, this is some good stuff to get out of a mid-afternoon slump at my desk. I’ve only recently made the acquaintance of a pug these past few weeks and never realized how funny they are in general. Just by being pugs, they evoke lots of laugh. The one I’ve gotten to know has a snaggle tooth, breathes like a demon, and is very food dominant. Your chart brings to mind too the many ways our pets forge their way into our mind and hearts over the years with their little quirks.
Even the annoying quirks become endearing (unless it’s eating cat poop). I like to think of pugs as the dog voted “most likely to be a stand-up comedian” in canine high school. They pretty much just have to stand there and they’ll get laughs. I’m so glad you’ve made a pug friend!
OMG, Laura, these pugs have really integrated into your life … lol 🙂 The daughter of a friend has two pugs so I will have to share this with her. She loves pugs but I think they wear her down quite a bit and they terrorized the one cat she tried to keep so … the cat went to another home. It’s really great that your cat likes to have a pug!
Oh, I wonder how old your friend’s daughter’s pugs are. Hopefully they will mellow with age! It’s true that not all pugs are totally chill; some can be quite high energy and jealous and possessive of their humans. We have had three gems, that is for sure. “Integrated” is a good word — right into my cells and soul!
Oh, this makes my heart squish and my eyes tear :)) Pets are wonderful and dog personalities are most wonderful and now I miss Billy the Westie who was stubborn and funny and old and cranky and a tank and a cutie and always looked at us as if to say “I know there’s more food in this house and you’re hiding it all from me” :)) **many hugs**
Aw, Billy the Westie sounds like a lovable pill. Dog personalities are wonderful, indeed. xo
Hi Laura! This is the “sweetest” tribute to your fur-babies that I’ve ever seen. And WOW! I never knew pugs had such unusual character traits. The one I am so-o-o-o glad that my Kloe doesn’t have is: the anal glad problem!!!!! And the one I’m jealous of is the: good on a road trip. My Kloe likes to think she can’t stop staring at the road (from the arm rest between the two of us) in case we miss something. Shoot I think she thinks she is the one driving! Anyway, this was a really fun way to learn about your kids. Thanks! ~Kathy
Anal gland update: I’ve been told by the groomer that adding canned pumpkin to her food should help with the anal glands! (It’s fiber-filled, and helps dogs to “express their glands naturally” when they poop!
Kloe is the textbook case of “Dog is my co-pilot.” At least she doesn’t insist on changing the radio station. 🙂