It’s one sleep since the end of Mental Health Awareness Month and the beginning of Pride Month. As we transition between these two important markers, I’m remembering all the times I’ve heard comments from people to the effect of, “I don’t care what they have/what they are. I just don’t need to know about it.”
It’s okay, this “do whatever you want in the privacy of your own home” approach. It’s miles better than the “lynch anyone who is different” approach. But it’s a viewpoint that comes from a place of never having had to fight against exclusion or discrimination. And my quick response has become this: put yourself in our shoes. Imagine what it’s like to have to hide who you are, every day, everywhere, because you’ll be punished by some sector of society if you don’t. That’s why we talk about mental health in May and LGBTQ rights in June every year. We’re not oversharing and being show-boaty. We’re fighting for our lives. That’s not a dramatic overstatement.
A few spin-off thoughts and somewhat-related notes.
My nephew alerted me to the fact that one day, we may be going on a magic mushroom trip to cure depression, a treatment I’m more than willing to be a study participant for, in case anyone is looking for guinea pigs.
I’m coming out soon about having depression and fronting as a high-functioning adult in a very big publication that will possibly be read by every potential future employer of mine, so we’ll see how that goes. I’ll share it on June 22.
Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about how to help children who are in vulnerable situations – troubled families with dysfunctional parents. If we don’t help the kids, they become adults who, best case, develop resilience (after a ton of work), or, worst case, major health issues (and never live their best lives), or sometimes both. The Hart family murders has been a trigger for me, because it was preventable. I don’t have the answers, but I’d like to hear ideas and anecdotes from anyone who has experience in the space of working with children from troubled families, and how to help them without necessarily removing them from their family.
How ‘bout that gene testing? Is 23andMe setting itself up to be a next-wave health diagnosis and treatment tool? It’s certainly been a discovery process for me, once I uploaded the raw data from their site into a couple of third-party sites. This is where it gets parsed into readable reports with much more info than what you get in the canned 23andMe reports. And this is where I discovered I have a double mutation of the MTHFR gene, something that’s linked to — drumroll, please – anxiety and depression. My learning from that, including treatment protocols, will be part of a future blog post.
My final thought. We’re in fraught times in parts of the world. Lead with love. Even when you want to punch someone. I bought slippers to remind myself.
Your thoughts? I don’t like to have the last word.
Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com says
Hey Laura! Your thoughts have been missed. Nice to hear from you and your reminders are important for us all. I completely agree that if we could come up with effective ways to deal with families and connect with more people who are struggling it would serve us all. Thanks for bringing it up and putting it out. We might look (and act!) different on the outside but the color of our blood is all the same! ~Kathy
Laura Zera says
Hey Kathy! Thanks for your kind words. As for connection, I feel like there have to be more “informal touch points” that could be utilized. In other words, just really *seeing* people, reaching out, taking a casual greeting a little bit deeper. And I mean this for everyone, not just for practitioners and professionals. I believe that being seen, and having that jolt of connection with another human, is like Kryptonite. It infuses us with strength.
Marie A Bailey says
Good to hear from you, Laura (although we are friends on Facebook so it’s not like I don’t hear from you there ;)) The story about the Hart family is gut wrenching. Children are so vulnerable, yet they are often left to fend for themselves, if they are can survive long enough. People in this country say they want smaller government. Well, this is what smaller government looks like. In a perfect world, we wouldn’t need child protective services, but our world is far from perfect and until it is perfect, we need to have months of awareness, awareness that our fellow human beings may need help, may be struggling. Perhaps we can’t save everyone, but the cracks in our system shouldn’t be so large that even the most obvious cases of abuse or mental illness falls through. I wish I had answers other than I’m hoping for a blue tidal wave in November. Even a blue ripple would be a good start toward making our country more humane. In the meantime, making human connections, even if just acknowledging a fellow walker on my lunchtime excursions, is what I try to do. And that’s actually a tall order for me, an introverted introvert 😉
Laura Zera says
Hello there, Marie! I totally agree re: small government. Non-profits do amazing things, but they can’t fill all the gaps, or pass and enforce laws. And the cracks are getting bigger and bigger. I was just saying tonight how there’s a whole new campground at the bottom of the hill near our house, next to a freeway on-ramp. Those who shudder in horror at the squatter camps of the developing world should look around — we’re surrounded by squatter camps now. It’s so weird for such a wealthy nation, but not weird when the wealth is so unevenly distributed.
And you go, introverted introvert! That’s a good effort on your part. 🙂 xo
Johntmurray says
I grew up with a psychotic mother who threatened suicide, double homicide of my twin sisters and beat me severely with a dog chain. My alcoholic father regularly beat me. I have had 16 years of psychotherapy and been on anti depressants since 1988. I completed Law School at age 47 and married at age 59. I have helped kids with impairments in special education cases, adults with Social Security cases and defendants with mental health issues in federal criminal cases. I have never given up. I am now 75.
John
Laura Zera says
John, you are an inspiration. I’m so sorry for your childhood experiences, but wow, did you ever turn that ship around, although I’m sure it isn’t always easy. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you much peace.