Before we talk specifics about getaways, first let’s address how you can tell if you’re an introvert. My simple gauge: when you spend time in direct interaction with people, does it give you more energy, or leave you needing to recharge your batteries in a quiet place?
I’m an introvert. I love people—love, love, love them—but when I’m done, I am done. I don’t want to talk to anybody. And when I’m overdone, I lose the capacity to hold on to thoughts and make decisions. My husband and two needy pets (both must sit on my lap at the same time kind of needy) start to feel like a crowd, and I wish extremely uncharitable things for Horking Man (neighbor who stands on his porch 24×7, smokes, then coughs like he is dying—and he may be—coughs some more, works up a loogie from the depths of his black lungs and, with great relish, spits it over the railing.)
When it gets to that point, I know it’s time to find a cave.
With time and budget as factors, I’ve learned to create do-it-myself getaways by finding a place close to home and then using Priceline.com to book it. I spend a bit of time using their regular search and look at the hotels in the desired area so I’m familiar with the available properties, their star ratings and neighborhood categories, then I go to the “Name Your Own Price” option (now there’s also the “Express” option for last-minute bookings). With the NYOP and Express features, you can get a room for 50-70% off the internet rate; the catch is you don’t know which hotel you’ll get until you’ve committed to the booking.
There can be ways around that. Lately, I’ve looked in Tacoma, Washington because it’s a small city—it only has five properties in Priceline’s three-star category (and none in the four-star) so I pretty much know which hotel I’m going to end up getting. I also look for other clues. When I did an Express booking last Thursday night, the deal was for a pet-friendly hotel. That told me it was the Hotel Murano because it was the only Tacoma hotel in that star category that listed itself as being pet friendly. Okay, so there’s a little sleuthing and research required, but you know, the über-cool Murano usually books for about $155 a night and I got it for $62.
Next, I pack food and drinks, because if I only spring for a couple of room-service dinners then the weekend’s cost remains low. I take shorties—little containers of coffee creamer, milk, yogurt, etc. that will fit into the racks of a mini-bar fridge. Add to that some cereal in Tupperware (which also double as eating bowls), granola and protein bars, some cheese, cookies and a big, honking piece of cheesecake—it’s a retreat, remember? You have to have some splurge foods. My own cutlery and corkscrew (so I don’t have to ask for it at the hotel), a few beverages, including a bottle of red wine (don’t have to chill it), and I’m good to go.
When I get to the hotel, I spend most of my time in the room, with no music or television to interrupt my thoughts (or lack thereof, because one of my activities is repeated meditation to clear my head of all pesky intruders).
I take a bubble bath. Then later, a shower with their full water-pressure shower head (as opposed to my crappy environmentally-friendly one at home). I do spa-like facial treatments, maybe paint my nails. I read. I revel in my dereliction of duties as I lounge on two of the six pillows on the king-size bed. I stare out the window. And I roll around on the wonderfully clean carpet, spending 30-60 minutes at a time on four or five basic stretches (anyone with hardwood floors and puny area rugs will appreciate this one, and anyone with hardwood floors, puny area rugs, cats with litter-box feet and dogs who scratch their itchy anal glands by spinning on their asses like Damien in The Omen will really appreciate it.)
At some point, I write a list of questions for which I’ve been seeking answers, or decisions that I can’t seem to make. By the end of the weekend, questions are answered and decisions are made. I pay for my incidentals, which brings the total cost of my weekend, including meals, parking, tax and tips, to just over $200, and get in my car. In 30 minutes, I am home. I wave to Horking Man, kiss my husband, hug my pets, and get back to work.
Are you craving a getaway like this? Do you already take them or have you found some other fun ways to create that ‘getaway space’ for yourself? Share your stories with us!
Caleb Pirtle says
I love those who book their hotels because they are pet friendly. When we travel, I never want to leave the little pup behind. If the hotel doesn’t want my dog, then it doesn’t want me. It can simply live with an empty room for the night.
Laura Zera says
That is a pretty nice feature, and now even some high-end hotels are doing this, e.g. the W in Seattle (I even stayed there one night with my dog in December, 2006 when our power was out for three nights).
Debbie Young says
Oh, that sounds like pure luxury! I SO want to go on one of those retreats – but somehow don’t think my husband and daughter would let me get away with it. Maybe it’s time I started hinting… Thank you for sharing this, Laura, in spite of your need for solitude! x
Laura Zera says
You’re most welcome, Debbie. Yeah, having children definitely complicates the logistics, but don’t give up hope. If you really need some self-care, then the first step is to give yourself permission, then ask them to help you make it happen! Listen to me, being all loose with the family advice when I’ve only got the non-talking furry kind of kids…
Kern Windwraith says
That sounds like a little slice of paradise: a hotel room, no company, no TV, just you and your thinky thoughts. It also sounds like the perfect decision-making environment. Like you, I’m an introvert, and frequently need respite from the hubbub of human interaction. I’m going to have to give your solution a try.
Laura Zera says
Kern, it works wonders, I’m telling you. If you do go on a getaway, please let me know how it turns out!
M. Jones says
That sounds so amazing. I hope to be able to do this at some point.
Also the bit about cats, dogs, and hardwood floors made me laugh out loud!
Laura Zera says
Hello, Ms. Marniy! I hope you’re able to do this at some point, too. You deserve it!
Mary Yuhas says
Great blog, Laura! I enjoyed every word! I’ve never used Priceline before, and I never thought about checking what hotels I might be at. Fun piece!
Laura Zera says
Thanks, Mary, so glad you enjoyed it!
Kelly Hopper says
SOOOO happy to read this… I’ve been thinking of you, and glad to hear about your blissful weekend!!! We definitely need to “unplug” in this totally plugged-in world today. When I stay committed to my daily meditations, it’s *amazing* how much time I have & everything is easier!! It’s so rewarding and important for our health to take-time-to-make-time for ourselves… KUDOS to You!
Laura Zera says
Hello there, was going to send you an email! Did you mention once that you went on a Search Inside Yourself course… and was it the material created by Chade-Meng Ten, the Google guy? Because that’s the book I started over the weekend. What an interesting guy. So yes, I’m also very glad I was able to make it happen, and I’m feeling *so much* clearer on several different fronts now. xo
Jeri says
I craved getaways like that all the time when I was teaching precisely because of my introverted ways. I’ve never taken that type of getaway though. Any type of way a person can use to unplug from the world is beneficial since everyone, even those perpetually perky extroverts, should take the time to collect their thoughts and assess their life from time to time. Kudos on this post being funny as hell… 🙂
Laura Zera says
…”those perpetually perky extroverts…” — ha! Yes, they could benefit, too. 🙂 Thanks for reading, Jeri, and I hope this post has planted a seed for you.
Christina Carson says
I think you’ve found a goodly few of us introverts. Like bees to honey! Good advice,Laura. That’s how you keep your lovely smile.
Laura Zera says
It’s nice company to be in!
Otga Hasbold says
I feel that being an introvert once a month during my dragon woman time (a period time). A hot bath and a king size bed just for yourself, sounds perfect. Thanks for lovely advice, Laura.
Laura Zera says
“Dragon woman” — that made me chuckle, Otga. I hope you’re able to take me up on my advice!
Claude Nougat says
Fantastic relaxed week-end, brava Laura as we say here in Italy, the dolce vita brought to you in America, sounds wonderful! And much needed. Don’t we all need to unplug…
Laura Zera says
Why, grazie, Claude. I think if we don’t unplug, we lose the beauty of being present.
Jodi from Heal Now and Forever says
I totally need this kind of thing! Sounds amazing!
Laura Zera says
Let me know if you do it, Jodi!
Kendall Hunter says
Great post Laura. Totally get it. Although I tend to have a lot of alone time I do get cabin fever. Literally. I live in a log cabin! Changing the scenery (and the floor covering) sounds like a plan.
Laura Zera says
Thanks, Kendall! Maybe you could drive into Calgary, get a little bit of city life as part of your getaway. I quite enjoyed staring out the window at all the cool old buildings in Tacoma.
Melissa miller says
It’s tough to get family members to accept these types of trips if they don’t understand the introvert. I find it helps to remind myself often that it IS my life, and sometimes books and/or movies that re-enforce that. Excellent article.
Laura Zera says
Hi Melissa, thanks for your comment. I hadn’t thought of that — my husband’s an introvert, so he totally gets it — but I can imagine it could be really tough. The whole concept of self-care is still ‘under-reinforced’ (if I may make up an expression) in our society, I think, and especially for women.
Kris McCann says
Shall I leave town soon so you can roll around on my carpet? My place is available during the weekend in Leavenworth: night of Fri Oct 19th & Sat Oct 20th. 🙂
Laura Zera says
Ha! It’s a pretty tempting offer.
Rolando says
Actually, when I am away from home alone in some hotel room I miss my wife, my daughter, and my house. I want to go back as soon as possible. LOL, maybe I’m needy! : ^ )
Laura Zera says
Naw, just a good husband and dad who shares their space well.
Timothy Trimble says
Nice write up. Anytime I’m on the road at a hotel, I end up in the lobby writing. When the wife is working, I can’t write at home. I have to go to the local coffee shop to write. I think it has something to do with having 5 kids and now we’re an empty nest. Just not enough noise for me. 😉 But it does sound nice to get away and just preen.
Laura Zera says
Funny! If that’s the way you lean, you’re probably more equipped to thrive in our noisy world than many! I’d think five kids would do it. And “preen,” I like that. That’s a good word.