What’s going on in America today?
I don’t want to beat around the bush in this blog post, but nor am I going to get up in your face and challenge your beliefs with my own. I only want to acknowledge that if we look at the “envy-judgment-hate” continuum right now, we’ve swung hard to the “hate” side.
I know I could be talking to the wind here, but I want to see if I can stick with plain speak and reach a few people. Maybe someone who has swung farther than they normally go. Or maybe someone who’s willing to play along to see what comes up.
I have some questions for you. That’s all. A group of questions. No judgment. We’re going to do some brain surfing, dudes, so hang loose.
First one: Have you identified any people or groups you hate? Be honest. You don’t have to report your answers to anyone. This is only for you.
Second, have you recognized that it’s hate? Like (in Valley-Girl mode for a sec here), “oh my God, I am totally feeling hate right now! That’s what it is!”
Third, when you identify who/what you hate, how does it make you feel? And be aware, you may get kind of an adrenaline rush when you’re all like, “Fuck them and the horse they rode in on!” But after that. After the adrenaline is gone. When you’re alone. Do you feel kind of icky inside? As in, way different than when you get a kiss from your baby or a greeting from your happy dog? And I don’t mean over stupid things, like “I hate Rum Raisin ice cream.” No. I mean the important stuff. The stuff like this: “I hate Muslims” and “I hate white people.” That stuff.
Fourth, if you hate a certain group because of how (in your opinion) they act—for example, “Mexicans* are lazy”—do you know for sure it’s true? I mean, do you absolutely know for sure? And even if you know 100 Mexicans, and they are all lazy as shit, is there a chance that can mean every Mexican is lazy? Or even the majority of them? (*Substitute “Mexicans” with any group on your list.)
Last one: If you think about what’s in your heart, would you say it’s mostly full of love or hate? Don’t just think about how you feel toward your girlfriend or your grandpa or your dog or the San Francisco 49ers; think about all the things. Everything you encounter in a day, including bad drivers. Do you feel mostly love, or do you feel mostly hate?
Oops. Psych. I’ve got a bit more. However you feel at the moment—full of love or full of hate—is it how you want to feel? Is it who you want to be? Is it the best thing for you? Because you deserve the best thing for you. You really do. I’m not pulling your leg.
Peace out, dudes. I’m going to go eat an Egg McMuffin or something.
I said you didn’t have to report your answers, but if you have something else to say, don’t hold back.
Images courtesy of Unsplash
Deniece says
Well said Laura. Any kind of Hate poisons everything including your soul.
Laura Zera says
Indeed. Thank you for reading, Deniece!
Diane Prysizney says
I like where you are going with this, Laura. It’s good to challenge yourself. It’s a positive thing to rip off the blinders and see the world from a fresh perspective every so often….especially when the craziness of the world has piled up in such a way that there is a laundry list of issues to be explored. I like the challenge of asking if we are willing to acknowledge we RECOGNIZE hate, let alone feel it. I think, in the deep dark recessess of our minds, hate and fear can be both synonymous and confused. There is, I believe, a very thin line differentiating these two emotions. I also believe that if we come to the honest conclusion that we DO feel hatred toward anyone or anything, just or unjust, an individual or a group of people, it can be nothing but healthy to ask ourselves “WHY? Does this person/group/race directly threaten or even have the potential to bring harm to myself or my loved ones or my way of life?” If the answer is “No”, then I think the next question is: “Why do I feel threatened?” If I am going to be completely honest, I will say shamefully say I have used the words, “I hate….” recently towards not a group, but a man. I am not proud of this. It made me feel “icky” inside. When I explore that deeper, I can with a little more honesty say I do not hate this person, but I do not stand with his values, and YES I feel threatened. I feel I have no control. And this is more about fear than it is about hate. And acknowledging fear is the first step to changing my perspective about it. Thank you for your help in allowing me an opportunity to explore and voice my opinion here.
Laura Zera says
Wow, there is so much goodness in your comment, Diane. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I’m so glad this post kicked off some (more) exploration. You mentioned that there’s a thin line between hate and fear; sadly, I think sometimes there’s also a thin line between hate and self-hate. Both versions are difficult to acknowledge and overcome, but it’s not impossible. And extending compassion to those with whom our values differ or who generate a threatened feeling in us is also difficult, but not impossible. I think humanity has the capacity, but we have to work at it. We really have to work at it.
Julia Whitmore says
Good time to tackle this issue! A lot of hate going down these days.
Laura Zera says
Hi Julia, thank you for stopping by. Yes, and I’ve heard some say, “this is necessary in order for us to achieve a higher level of consciousness.” I’m not totally sure what to do with that sentiment. But if all the hate going down these days is part of the transition to something greater, then I guess we’re in for a bumpy ride on a plane that hasn’t filed its flight plan yet and fueled up for a long haul.
Jeri says
I tend not to have many hateful bones in my body. But how do we as a society make that shift? Is it possible? I don’t know. Change is hard. So very hard. All this shitty stuff has been happening and so many of us feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders, but is it? How much do we truly have to bear? And there’s always lots of horrible crazy stuff going on in any given corner of the planet, but we don’t hear about all of them. These are days when it’s really hard to believe in the power of love, but thanks for the though-provoking post.
Laura Zera says
All very true. We all process information differently, and I’ve been quite surprised several times at my response to events. I’ve had days of total apathy and denial, days of anger, days of sadness, days of feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck. And so when people go through a big range of feelings and responses, how do we channel it into something good? I try to keep the small stuff in front of me, so I don’t get too overwhelmed. Smile at a stranger. Talk to a homeless person. Set boundaries with a pushy person. Give money to causes I believe in, even if small amounts. Sign petitions. Show up when I can, where I can. Believing in the power of small things helps when the big issues feel insurmountable.
Thanks for reading, Jeri.
Kathy @ SMART Living 365 says
Hi Laura! I’m so glad I followed your link on my blog post about “The Problem With Accepting What Is” because we are both writing about important issues that are big in our world these days. Lots of people are angry and freaked out about what is happening in our country, and I’ll admit it is rather bizarre, but if we give into the fear and hate then we are “part of the problem” rather than the solution. I’m not saying we shouldn’t get involved and do what we can, I’m saying we should do our best not to do what we do with “hate.” I tend to believe that anything we focus on we “grow” or at least support, so if we are focused on how much other people are hating, then there is a good chance we are doing exactly the same. Far better to focus on nonviolence and peaceful solutions. Not easy, but far, far more helpful for a peaceful and happy world. ~Kathy
Laura Zera says
Hi Kathy! Thank you for coming over! I one-hundred percent agree with you. And the reason I opted to deconstruct the emotion of hate here is because I’m hoping that for those who aren’t familiar with stepping back and observing their emotions, but who are fueled by all the things that tend to get expressed via hate (fear, jealousy, anger, low self-worth, etc.), this post gives them the first simple step of stopping and just looking at what’s going on in them. Just being a little bit curious. In other words, baby steps.
Kris says
Great thoughts Laura. And excellent questions for all humans to consider. Those that could really benefit from reading this, unfortunately, don’t read your blog. I can think of a few thousand folks, who were in Cleveland this past week , that should read this.
Laura Zera says
Ha, most people don’t read my blog. 🙂 I can only hope that occasionally one of those people will find their way here, perhaps after they search on “does strawberry flavor really come from beaver butt?” which is the search term (or a variation thereof) that brings the most traffic to my site.