School has started again and so I’m starting to work on my presentation for high school students that I originally talked about here. Thanks to a U.K. group called the Youth Mental Health Network, I stumbled across a story about a new mental health curriculum that is being rolled out for ninth graders across the province of Nova Scotia, Canada. Awesome stuff. The link for it is found here at Teen Mental Health.
When I eventually go out to speak to high school students, I’m going to be talking about what it’s like to live with a parent who has an undiagnosed mental illness – the confusion, the isolation, the shame, the daily verbal beat downs, all that gunk. I was lucky, because salvation arrived for me, and in the following order:
- I moved out in 1984, at age 15, then got caught shoplifting several months later
- The juvenile court liaison (thank you, whoever you were, pretty blond lady) said that to avoid criminal charges, I had to see a social worker (p.s. Barb Foulis, I’m trying to get in touch with you, to personally thank you)
- Social worker Barb was the second stable, supportive influence in my life (after my sister) and I spilled my guts to her. A lot. For three years.
I realize it’s funny to hear someone say that getting caught shoplifting was one of the best things that ever happened to them (thank you, Oscar, alert Shoppers Drug Mart store detective, looking so uninterested in your beige windbreaker) but for me, it was. My hope is that kids who are currently facing similar challenges don’t have to engage in theft or other risky behaviors in order to get noticed and get help.
Given that line of reasoning, without entering into the social services network, where might a student in need of counseling support—for their own mental health issues or that of a parent—find help?
The obvious answer is “at school,” yet, as the Teen Mental Health website states, “Schools are often challenged to deal with youth mental health, but are seriously under equipped and inadequately supported to handle this responsibility.”
Well, that needs to change, then, doesn’t it? (Thank you, Nova Scotia and Dr. Stan Kutcher, for your new initiative.)
I also found this paper on adolescent mental health in the U.S., created in 2009 by the National Center for Children in Poverty at Columbia University. What struck me was that in their recommendations section, practically every bullet point starts with a call for federal or state government funding in order to do blah blah blah. Yes, it would be nice, but my guess is that it isn’t going to happen, so we better find ways to provide support to teens with our current resources at established channels (like high schools.) The curriculum that Nova Scotia is using is free for teachers, by the way.
Finally, most of what I’ve seen on the internet talks about working with teens who have a mental illness. I haven’t seen much (almost nothing) that talks about working with teens who have a mentally-ill parent. Those teens may end up with a mental illness themselves, such as depression, or they may act out their issues by engaging in risky, self-destructive behaviors, which brings us full circle back to the thing we’re trying to avoid. I’m definitely starting to feel like I’ve identified a gap.
To help hone my approach on this topic, I need help (again!) I would like to hear from current (or recent) high school teachers, to get information on what kind of support is/was available in their school.
- Do the teachers receive mental health training?
- Do the school counselors provide mental health support, or are/were they strictly career focused (like mine was)?
- How often are the teen’s issues rooted in the mental illness of a parent?
- Are these issues a topic of discussion within your school? And how are things going with that?
- Anything else you care to contribute
If being candid will endanger your job, please comment anonymously, or send me a confidential email using the contact form on this website.
Of course, everyone’s comments are appreciated, as I’m sure there are many non-teacher people out there who have experience with this topic, too.
Together, we will make progress (thank you, cool people out there who want to help.)
Caleb Pirtle says
You have an amazing and touching story. As people go through life, especially when they are young, they come to many forks in the road. Fortunately you had the help and the fortitude to keep taking the right one in spite of the odds against you and the obstacles in your path. It’s good that the students have you to speak to them. Lessons from the heart and from experience are always the ones most remembered.
Laura Zera says
Thank you, Caleb. Your kind words make my heart happy.
Jodi from Heal Now and Forever says
School are where the children are, we have to provide them services right there. There is so much do accomplish in school but it is important that social skills and emotional wellbeing be a priority! You are going to do awesome! I am so glad you are doing this!
Laura Zera says
Yup, I was thinking tonight about something that Tylia tweeted earlier, that the good teachers will be trying their best, even given their limited time and resources, and that’s so true. There are lots of teachers who are stretched thin, but they will still try hard to find the time if given the directive to go forth on this. Makes me so sad how underpaid some teachers are. Thanks for stopping by, Jodi, and your vote of support!
Jo VonBargen says
This is a noble and worthy effort, Laura, and I’m so proud of you for leading the charge! More evidence that every trial we go through makes us what we are today. And what you are is a wonderfully grounded, compassionate individual who finds a need and does everything she can to fill it. My best to you in this endeavor – you are a true saint, my friend!
Laura Zera says
Oh Jo, if only I had the energy to do more! I’m too fond of my sleep, though. This kind of outreach is a person-by-person thing, though, as in, if I change something for one person for the better, then it’s all worth it. Thank you for all the love, and love back to you, too!
Debbie Young says
This is a wonderful project that will change lives for the better. Great work, Laura.
Laura Zera says
Thank you so much, Debbie! I just hope the teenagers aren’t too hard on me! Actually, even if they are hard on me, it could be funny, and there’d definitely be some learning and stories out of it for me.
Tylia Gardner says
As I said on twitter, my mom was an HS teacher and could possibly help shed light on this, but I would say that teachers aren’t given the resources they need to handle mental health issue as well as they should and sometimes have to make it up as they go. Sometimes, the issues regarding a student’s mental health or interpersonal or home issues to come to school with them and sometimes teachers become confidants. When clearly there should be something done on the behalf of the student, teachers might have their hands tied to intervene. The most horrible gut-wrenching feeling in the world is to find out a problem in a student’s life, run it up the chain of command where it may not go anywhere and then realize there’s nothing else you can do. Teachers need to be made aware of all the resources available for kids having mental health issues or suffering because of mental health issues of others, so at least it can be presented to the student so neither of them can feel completely helpless.
Laura Zera says
All very good points, Tylia. I’m sure there are some horrible things that teachers become privy to and are helpless to change, but also probably lots of instances where the fact that the student can tell their story to someone is an enormous help. I came to the realization that a lot of my pain was released when I was finally able to tell my story to the social worker. Thanks for your support on this and I can’t wait to talk to your mom tomorrow!
Tylia Gardner says
I’m so thrilled you’re talking to my mother. I think this might be good for both you and my mom.
I would agree with you that just finding a person who could be that outlet for a student is a great start, but I think teachers need to think about ways of shaping that dialog so that it helps the student. Catching the run-off of a student’s problems is one thing, but helping them frame their problems is another.
Laura Zera says
Those are very sage words, indeed. And I concur.
Christina Carson says
So very, very needed,Laura, and I couldn’t think of a better person to be out there helping a population of students exposed to so much these days, and often with no one to talk with. An understanding of mental health issues is still so nascent in our population. I have a dear friend who has educated me over the past 40 years as she struggled in so many ways. Thank you for your energy and heart.
Laura Zera says
Thanks for your support, Christina! I have a dream that if we keep talking about it, the stigma will go away. It can happen, and it has happened for other things. Hugs to you.
Jeri says
I did my teacher training at Boise State in Idaho, so can’t speak for every program, but I received little guidance in how to deal with such situations. Most teacher prep courses drill-in how to write a lesson plan, when delivering the information and creating assignments is often the easiest part of teaching. Training also includes little on classroom management and how to mentor students.
I did volunteer to go to three days of intense SAP (student assistance training) because I could get two college credits. It’s a program where the counselor identifies students in need of support and then they are sent out of class to have “group” with a teacher. It’s set-up as an affirmation group. After experiencing my time in the circle crying about the past, I decided there was no way I could ever effectively act in that capacity when having had the same students in my classroom!
I’ve seen some counselors who do have clinical experience, and those are the most effective ones. I’m sure the coursework requires training in how to offer counsel, but most guidance counselors only seem to offer career advice and act as mediator when girls start drama.
I know there was no way I EVER would have gone to my school counselor to talk about my bipolar mother. However, I always wished there was someone I could tell because the stress was so horrible, and yet I functioned and lived to tale the tale.
In my last school before I left the classroom, teachers could tell the guidance counselor about suspected issues, but little came of it. Some of the students really in need of help would be set-up with the part-time psychologist who split her time in between three rural schools.
Let me know if you have any other questions. I’m sure I have more to add and I’m always happy to add the teacher’s POV as well as the POV of someone who has lived with a mentally ill parent. Come to think of it, you would think some sort family counseling would have been offered since she was long-diagnosed…. Just one more issue to iron out when it comes to mental health.
Whew! This comment turned out to be quite long. Have a great weekend.
Laura Zera says
A long comment with *great* insights as you’ve been on both sides of the issue. Thank you for taking the time to write it. It seems like so much depends on the person who fills the role — some counselors and teachers are better suited to take on this aspect of working with students than others. Someone else recently shared with me that their school counselor was completely unhelpful and unapproachable. Mine (back in the 80s) was very nice, but like you, I still didn’t go to her to tell her my story. I wanted everyone to think I had it all together! What’s also interesting about what you’ve shared is that the resources that were available when you were teaching are completely different from the teacher I spoke to a couple of days ago, so I can only imagine how much variation there is across school districts and states/provinces.
Tylia said something below that has got me thinking, too. It’s one thing to have the resource there to go to, but often, kids won’t. So I think it’s really important that the resource (teacher, counselor, psychologist) take the first step to make a connection with the student in (perceived) need. And they have to do it in a way that doesn’t make the student stand out or appear as ‘different’ in front of their peers. I just learned yesterday that a friend’s 14-year-old son killed himself on Sept.10, World Suicide Prevention Day, further reinforcing for me that this support is gravely important.
Jeri says
One more thing… teachers are often set-up to “mentor” students one-on-one for various reasons. Often at my school it seemed to mean a student being sent to sit in a teacher’s room during their prep period. At one point I was asked to mentor a student. Well, let’s just say I received a form in my mailbox at the school from a teacher who was in charge of “helping” students. Details escape me right now, but I do remember making my case to my higher-ups that I felt uncomfortable helping a student in such a capacity and assessing them psychologically. Which is just one more example of the BILLION jobs teachers are expected to selflessly do!
Laura Zera says
Right, teachers’ plates are always piled so high, and they’re underpaid and understaffed, which irks me SO much, given the importance of the work. I hope that there are some creative solutions to be found in there somewhere… boy, do I hope!