He stood on a street corner, the local KFC his theater backdrop, a worn and dirty “Help Needed” sign in his hands. The traffic lights supplied a captive audience of people in cars, and he shuffled back and forth, 15 feet south or west, as instructed by the lights’ color. Well, that and probably a substance dependency issue or a mental illness. Something had led him to this spot.
I kept my car windows up and my gaze angled enough to keep him in my line of vision without making direct eye contact. He wasn’t a very big or threatening man, just unkempt, his hair having a crazy, clown-like quality to it. As the light turned green and I sped off, I noticed that the soles of his boots flapped as he walked, as detached from the rest of his shoes as his soul from society.
“Everybody should have warm, dry feet,” I remembered Janie saying. Janie owned a local thrift shop where she gave away socks for free. I was only a few blocks away from her shop, and they sold men’s shoes there. Or I could keep driving. But if I went straight home, what would that say about my own soul?
I turned right at the next light, looped back around and swung into the KFC parking lot. Now my window was down. “What size are your feet?” I called out.
“Nine.” He hopped over decorative shrubs to get to my car. “Are you going to buy me shoes?” I told him that was my intention, and he wanted to know where I would be shopping and how long it would take for me to come back (I estimated 15 minutes in case I had to hit two thrift shops to find his size). “I should be here,” he said, after thoughtful consideration. “I might have gone to the bathroom, but then I’ll be back.”
Ten minutes later, back at his corner, I handed him a lightly used pair of Skechers. “Thanks,” he said. “Do you want to have lunch?”
“Aw, no, sorry, I have to get home.”
He was smoking a cigarette that he’d hand-rolled into some strange origami, and his teeth bore the stains of tobacco and tough breaks. “You’re my friend now. If you ever want to hang out, I’m here every day, usually between 10 and 12.”
I checked that the traffic light was still red so we could continue the conversation, and then, trying to ascertain if he was independent or ‘in the system,’ asked, “Do you live alone?”
“Oh, well, I’m doing a lot better these days,” he blustered. “The devil and his legion aren’t coming after me anymore.” His eyes widened as he said this, and he nodded his head, as if I had previous knowledge about Satan’s antics as they related to him and this was just my status update. “They were trying to get at me, you know, coming in everywhere and following me around.”
He’s delusional. This, I understand, I thought, and relaxed. “Okay, well I’m glad to hear you’re doing better. What’s your name, by the way?”
“Here, let me give you a quarter for the shoes.” He fumbled in his denim shirt pocket without telling me his name.
“No, no, that’s okay, really. They’re my gift to you. To start your weekend off right.”
“Really? Thanks! You’re my friend, so you’re protected from everything.” He took a couple of steps back until he was on the sidewalk again. “Are they lace-ups?”
“Yup, they’re lace-ups. Will that work for you?”
“Oh yeah, that’ll work. I just have to bend down more.”
I couldn’t suppress my smile. “Okay, good.” The light turned green. I put my car into gear and waved as I set off.
Everybody should have warm, dry feet.
Jagoda says
Your soul is deep and kind and compassionate. In your next life, maybe even this one, you will be a bodhisattva. No, you already are one.
Laura Zera says
You’re very kind, Jagoda. I know that with Buddhism, one acts from a place of selflessness, but I have to say, it was a pretty fun exchange and made me smile for a long while. I’m halfway tempted to find my new friend again and sit down for a coffee with him. He was a character!
Ken Kailing says
Nice!
Laura Zera says
Thanks! 🙂
Kern Windwraith says
Oh, Laura, this is such a powerful post. How often do we swallow our guilt and look away–and how easy would it be to step up and do one small thing? Thank you for reminding us that compassion is more than just words.
Laura Zera says
I know I swallow mine far too often because I’m ‘in a rush’ or ‘it’s another panhandler and they’re everywhere’ or whatever. But I got my own feel-good payback from doing it, that’s for sure. Thank you for your lovely comment, Kern.
Belinda Pollard says
Oh Laura, just having a little weep. xx
Belinda Pollard says
Thanks Laura. I’ve stopped blubbing now and can leave a comment. I really agonise about these situations sometimes. I’m so glad you made that man’s day so much better. Bless you.
Laura Zera says
Thank you for reading, Belinda. I think the thing is that we can’t help everybody, and I’m not even sure that we’d want to. But it is really so easy to just tune some people out, and so it’s about trying to be more present and aware so that we can respond as our hearts tell us to. Blessings to you.
Jodi from Heal Now and Forever says
Laura,
You are the sweetest This is beautiful! Thanks for taking time. So much of these things pass us by because we are too busy. Ya know? I’m sure I could have more connection like this if I just opened my eyes a bit more! Kudos to you, lovey!
xo
Jodi
Laura Zera says
Thanks, Jodi. It was just such a cool experience, quite unexpected, really, and it totally made my day.
Debbie Young says
Yep, everybody should have warm, dry feet – and a friend like you. Lovely post, lovely thought, lovely deed. Am tweeting to inspire more people to follow your big-hearted example – this could become a butterfly effect, with small acts of kindness radiating all over the world – all down to you. 🙂
Laura Zera says
I love that idea, and would be thrilled if people keep this intention going. And it would contribute to world peace! Seriously! (I have a theory about that, will have to write about it in another post). Thanks, Debbie.
Chris James says
You’re a good person, Laura, and I’m glad I read your posts. They help, thanks
Laura Zera says
Aw, thank you, Chris. Just tryin’ to keep it real. 🙂
Jeri says
Such a kind act, plus it’s good to know that you’re protected from EVERYTHING now since you befriended him. His words speak volumes about how far a little kindness and goodwill can do in this world.
Laura Zera says
I know, right? That was so nice of him. And now I can be super-duper triple fearless.
Tyliag says
I loved this and its message is perfect. Whenever I see a homeless person, I think about this NPR fresh air interview with an author who had similar experiences to you. Her mother had mental illness and was homeless for most of her life. Her advice was to always have bottled water handy because dehydration is a big problem with the homeless population. And she always had directions to the homeless shelter.
There’s this rock outside my local grocery store where various homeless people will perch. When I see one when I’m shopping, I try to make it a point to buy some bottled water and maybe some clif bars to give to them, along with whatever spare change I have. I’ll keep your ‘Everyone should have warm dry feet’ rule in my head the next time I see someone perched on homeless rock.
Laura Zera says
Hi Tylia, so nice to see you here again! I didn’t know that about dehydration, so I’ll definitely keep that one in mind. One thing that I was lucky about with my mum is that she was far from destitute — she always had a nice home, she just didn’t know how to take care of it and eventually never left to go out anywhere, even to get groceries. But she had those walls around her to keep her safe, for which I’ll always be grateful. Homelessness is a condition of many, many people with mental illness.
Tyliag says
‘Homelessness is a condition of many, many people with mental illness.” It is sad but very, very true. When I was in high school, a cousin of mine with mental illness went homeless for a time. You don’t think it could happen to someone you know or love, but it so easily can. The reality is that what separates us from a homeless person on the street, depending on their circumstances, is very little.
Laura Zera says
Surprisingly little, especially in countries with a limited social safety net. Hope your cousin is doing better now, Tylia.
Kris McCann says
Ah. That is so thoughtful. Inspires me to do more! There is actually an event to highlight folks w/o shoes, associated to TOMS shoes. http://www.onedaywithoutshoes.com/ I know someone who did this. Poeple in Seattle, in April will ask you why you don’t have shoes on. And you get to tell them about the cause.
Laura Zera says
Ha, that’s an event that my hubby should sign up for, he barely wears shoes as it is. Thanks, Kris!
Lana says
Beautiful story Laura. However, it doesn’t surprise me knowing you over the years. Thank you for sharing.
Sending hugs from the East coast.
Shanti,
Lana
Laura Zera says
Thank you, my sweet. Peace to you, too. xo
Lois Gerber says
Great description of the homeless. Your description is so accurate and made him come alive. Big issue in community health. More individualized services needed to address mental health issues, drug and alcohol dependency. I have a published article about homelessness in a nursing journal.
Laura Zera says
Hi Lois, welcome, and thank you for your kind comment. If your article is available to the general public, I’d love to read it, so feel free to post a link to it here.