When you’re planning a trip, how do you prepare for it? Not whether to bring two or three pairs of underwear but rather, what’s your philosophical approach?
This question was asked of me a few months ago by my friend Elaine. It’s such a good one, because if you’re going to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on a trip, really, whether you have the right SPF-level of sunscreen in your bag is merely a triviality.
Think of travel as an investment in yourself, a component of your education, except you’ve paid the thousands to have it delivered in the open world instead of a closed classroom. What do you want to learn? And how do you want to grow?
If your predominant style of trip planning is to book everything—hotels, tours, transportation—down to the last detail (and I plan like that sometimes), then I tend to think of it as a low-risk, low return-on-investment (ROI) ‘product,’ like a money market account. Safe, and still very nice, because you’ll definitely come out ahead from where you started.
If your trip plan is to buy a plane ticket, period, and let the rest unfold as it may, then I consider that type of investment to be a higher-risk, higher ROI product. Who are you going to meet? Who knows! Where are you going to stay? Somewhere! The thing to remember is that the elements of spontaneity and surprise can push a trip from being really good to over-the-top life changing.
Here are some questions to ask yourself if you’re trying to determine a travel philosophy, or if you’re working on loosening up your planning tendencies:
- Do you have to know exactly which city or town you’re going to stay in each night?
- Do you care which hotel or guest house you stay in? Can you trust that you’ll find a safe place to rest your head even if you haven’t pre-booked?
- If invited, would you stay in a family home of someone local?
- Is one night of unsuitable or unsavory accommodation a total trip-wrecker for you, or can you put it aside and move on?
- Are you able to ask people for help? Would you trust the locals to tell you how to get from A to B or where to find a safe guesthouse?
- Is traveling about the things you do when you get to a place, or is getting to the place part of the journey for you?
Another way to practice ‘unplanning’ is to use visualization. Imagine walking through the exit doors of an airport or getting off a train, your onward destination unknown. What kind of person would you approach? Male or female? Young or old? Do you smile at them? Do they smile back? What questions would you ask? How do you want to feel during or after this exchange? Is it sunny? (That one is a guaranteed ‘yes,’ I bet!)
The inherent opportunities of an unplanned trip smacked me in the face just this weekend when I was driving down the street. On the sidewalk were two round, old Eastern European women; a mother and daughter, I’m guessing. The eighty-something year old stood less than five feet tall and, using a walker, took short, shuffling steps. Every single push of a foot was a gargantuan effort. She wore a cardigan over her dress, a paisley baboushka on her head and knee-length stockings on her feet. Her face was lined with deep wrinkles, and her nose rivaled that of actor Adrien Brody. The woman’s daughter, probably in her 60s and dressed exactly the same, had one hand on her mother’s walker to keep it steady. The other held a cell phone to her ear.
They were adorable, and I had the sudden urge to greet them. Say hello, nod my head, just stop and drink in their adorableness. But encased in my bubble-car, I couldn’t do any of those things. In a second, I’d passed them. I thought about pulling a U-turn and going back, but worried if I screeched to a stop beside them it could send Baba’s blood pressure into an unhealthy zone.
You never know when you’re going to be greeted by something that makes you want to stop dead in your tracks, maybe linger. It’s such a gift to have the time and freedom to actually be able to stop.
I’ll be hitting the road again in a few weeks, this time to Suriname, Guyana and Trinidad & Tobago. I have booked my flights into Suriname and out of Guyana and Trinidad. That is all. I don’t know much about any of those places, or what I might want to see. I figure I’ll ask some folks when I get there. They probably won’t be wearing baboushkas, but I bet they’ll be pretty cool, just the same.
Finally, I hate ending on a sad note, but given the topic of this post and the recent murder of Sarai Sierra, a solo female traveler in Istanbul, I want to say a few things. Sarai’s tragic death occurred due to a crime that could have happened anywhere. She lived in New York; it could have happened there. Her solo trip to Istanbul was not a precursor to her death, and the odds of being victimized by a physical crime are generally low in most places. That it happens at all, ever, is a terribly sad thing, and I deeply wish I knew of Sarai Sierra as a result of her passion for photography instead of the recent events.
Dimple says
Very nicely worded Laura! And it does make me wonder if I will ever travel unplanned.
Will be an adventure.
The European women you mentioned, I have felt the same so many times – the urge to stop and talk to random people…or wonder where they are going, how they are related etc etc..
Laura Zera says
And then once you’ve talked to them, they’re not random anymore because you’ve made a connection! If an adventurous trip is tugging at your heart, then I hope you can make it happen. xo
Kern Windwraith says
I love your approach to travel. Just get there and go find your adventure, whatever it might be. Only once in my life did I ever go on a packaged bus tour. I was traveling with my daughter, and I thought it would be less stressful to have everything planned and organized in advance, so I booked a 1-week bus tour across southern Ireland. We met some lovely people, but I can’t begin to describe the staggering disappointment of sailing past all these places I longed to stop and visit, of having to race through castles as though ghosts were nipping at our heels, and of bypassing rows of charming inns to stay in the most boring, humdrum hotels where the tour company had arranged the most boring, humdrum breakfasts. Never again.
Laura Zera says
Oh no! You’ll have to go back. Your story brought back my own memory. I traveled in southern Ireland with a friend in 1989. We literally walked into the tourism office in Dublin, I closed my eyes, spun around and stuck my finger on the map. It landed on Dungarvan, so that’s where we went. We stayed in a private guesthouse of a very stern, very religious woman who gave us no end of disapproving looks and the whole time we were there it poured rain, severely limiting our desire to wander. It wasn’t the best time, all in all, but we’ve always had a laugh when we think about it. Thanks for posting, Kern! Happy travels to you.
Gail Nickel-Kailing says
Laura,
I try to always remember: Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet. Works for me!
Travel safe and enjoy yourself immensely!
Gail
Laura Zera says
Thank you, Gail. I like that credo very much. Glad you stopped by!
Debbie Young says
Reading this post was great timing for me, Laura, as we’ve just this morning booked our ferry to take our camper van on a trip to Luxembourg later this year – somewhere my husband and daughter have never been, and I’ve only been there on business trips. I think maybe now I won’t worry so much about whether I’ve got the latest Rough Guide to Luxembourg and just go with the flow. After all, two years ago, when we neglected to take so much as a road map when we drove to France for a month, we had the trip of a lifetime! Hope your next adventure is fabulous, and I look forward to hearing all about it when you’re back!
Laura Zera says
Oh, that’ll be so fun! What ferry do you take for that? Is it the Dover to Calais route that’ll get you on the continent? I look forward to reading about your trip, too!
Jagoda says
So many of my fondest memories involve unplanned travel serendipities. One of my favorites was taking the ferry down the Adriatic coast from Rijeka, Croatia to Dubrovnik. We hadn’t reserved a room or hotel. Two sisters greeted the ferry boat with a sign, “Rooms for Rent.” We walked right up to them and followed them home. This was after the Croatian-Serbian war in the 1990s. We sat on their veranda, eating oranges picked from their tree and listened to them regale us with stories of survival and also of death (their mother died of a heart attack during the bombing–“her heart broke,” one sister said.). Touching and memorable.
Laura Zera says
Oh wow, that sounds truly amazing. I have the image in my head. Thank you for sharing, Jagoda.
Mary Yuhas says
Have a wonderful trip, Laura! Great advise!
Laura Zera says
Hi Mary! Thanks so much. 🙂
Jodi from Heal Now and Forever says
Laura, Enjoy your trip as I know you will! Be a star to whomever you meet!
Love,
Jodi
Laura Zera says
Thank you, Jodi. xo
Diane Hughes says
I love the idea of playing it by ear, and I feel I seldom get the chance. When you have a plan, it’s easy to feel frustrated when things don’t go to plan. But when you just go with the flow and allow events to unfold, there’s no expectations and no disappointment! I think we’re much better off just living in the moment — whether at home or on the road.
Enjoy your adventure. I’m quite jealous and cannot wait to hear all about it. 🙂
Laura Zera says
I think sometimes we have tendencies to feel like we have to accomplish a certain amount in a finite amount of time and so we pack stuff in, however counter-intuitive to the idea of vacation this may be. I try to set a low bar for such goals! Of course, I’m easily amused doing absolutely nothing on any given day, which makes my idea of a good time different from some! Thanks for stopping in, Diane. Hope you get some good ‘outdoorsing’ in this season.
otga says
Interesting story and very thoughtful advice, Laura. Have a wonderful trip. Waiting for your new adventure story!!!
Laura Zera says
Thank you, Otga. Best to you as well!
Kelly @TravelOptimist says
I tried the whole “not plan where I’ll sleep tonight” thing while in Morocco and decided from that experience I don’t like it. I was wandering alone in the dark in Essaouira (my bus arrived later than I’d anticipated) and there was hardly anyone in the street. It was literally pitch black (I did not bring a flashlight) and when I went to ask for directions when I did find a place open, I was ignored. Other than that I was approached by men asking for a date. It was not my idea of a good time. I prefer to plan now (and have cancellable plans) instead of no plans at all.
Laura Zera says
Hey Kelly, totally understand and have even been there! And isn’t is “funny” how black pitch-black can really be?! I got into Sansanne-Mango in Togo at 11:30 one night, and the bus almost forgot to stop so the driver let me out on the far edge of town. I had to convince the cop at the police roadblock to give me a lift into town on his motorcycle AND I started to cry AND he chastised me for crying! It sucked at the time but I can laugh about it now. I think nighttime arrivals are the most difficult aspect of solo female travel, and I certainly respect the safety issues involved there — especially since a lot of places change drastically when the sun goes down. Thanks for your comment and happy travels.
Justin says
Hi Laura,
I prefer a loose, flexible approach to traveling. If I am too rigid with everything it tends to zap the fun out of the experience. Enjoy your upcoming trip and let us know all about it when you return.
Take Care.
Laura Zera says
Hi Justin, thanks for reading and for your good wishes. I definitely think the looser the approach, the wider your eyes are open in the process! And here’s to conscious evolution, may it spread around the globe.
Jonathan Look, Jr. says
What a great article Laura! I too find most of my best adventures come to me unplanned. It is by allowing room for them am I able to enjoy them. To be honest, lately I am working on having an unplanned life!
Laura Zera says
Thank you, Jonathan, and how excellent for you — keep up the good work! 🙂
Glad you stopped by, and if you’re still in Siem Reap, please make sure to say hello to my Italian friends Maddy, Freddy and Ed. They own and run Il Forno restaurant and the Navutu Dreams resort. Lovely, lovely people who I met in Fiji at their original location.
Ana says
I haven’t had a completely unplanned holiday for years – I usually book travel and accommodation and then don’t plan the actual days. But this does take me back to a month of travel as a student of 18 with 2 friends and an Interrail pass allowing us to travel on any train freely throughout Europe. We went to Paris, Venice, through Yugolslavia (as it was then) to Athens, got thrown off a train bound for Russia at the Czechoslovakian border and sent back (not the right visas) and came home via Austria when we ran out of money. Such fun not knowing where you’ll go, or when you’ll be frogmarched in terror along a railway track by border guards with guns LOL
Laura Zera says
Ah, the good old days, hey?! LOL! Europe by rail pass is just the best for exactly the reasons you wrote about. And glad you didn’t see the inside of a Czech interrogation room (although that would have made for a great story). Thanks for sharing, Ana!
Jo Carroll says
I book the flight and hotel for the first 4-5 nights (I try to go for about a month – as long as I can get on one visa). I know how to get into town from the hotel. And then – anything can happen. It depends who I meet, where the the buses go (without leaving at three in the morning or arriving at midnight).
But – a huge ‘but’ this – as an older woman travelling alone, I can’t manage the anxiety of arriving late in the afternoon somewhere and not knowing where I’ll sleep. So I generally book a hotel/hostel/homestay ahead, once I’ve decided where I’m going.
(trawling back through your posts, it seems I’m allowed to link to my website: http://www.jocarroll.co.uk) If this is spam, I’m sorry!
Laura Zera says
Booking for the first night does ease a lot of potential anxiety, especially if it has been a long and arduous flight and you know you will be tired and somewhat witless (or is it just me that gets witless? LOL!). I’ve landed without any bookings many times, too, and it’s amazing how it does work itself out, but I’ve learned to make the hunt for accommodation part of the adventure. Not for everybody, I realize this!
Jo, I totally don’t mind you linking to your website, but you should actually be getting an option to use CommentLuv anyway, which then automatically sticks a link to your most recent blog post — or an earlier one, if you choose off the list — in the bottom of your comment.
Thanks for reading and sharing!
Christina James says
I should add, be confident in manner and never give the impression of being helpless. Asking someone for help is not the same as being asked if you need help; there’s nothing wrong with needing to ask and you can choose your person. Being assertive and assured has always been the best way for me. My experience of airports is that it’s always the wrong kind of people who are attracted to the naive. Cynical? Perhaps. I imagine, Laura and Jo, with lots of experience of unplanned trips, that you do exude the kind of confidence I’m talking about!
Laura Zera says
Christina, I think you’ve hit upon something important here. We communicate so much through body language. And your last sentence made me laugh because I’ve got an example from the extreme end of this spectrum: I lived in a very rough and unsavory neighborhood in downtown Johannesburg for a while and I used to walk on the street instead of the sidewalk, and with fists clenched.
Cindy says
My husband and I have different travel styles, but that turned out to be good for me because compromise is a big thing for us. So I “let go” of part of every vacation even though it makes me crazy. I have the flight booked, the B&B reserved, even lunch with a friend scheduled:) but on the back end, there is nothing except “bring your passport.” Next week we’re going on a 5 day jaunt. I did my part, his is wide open. Still. And it’s next week. But I’ve learned to trust that we’ll have fun because we always do.
Laura Zera says
Wow, you have managed to overcome what has been the death of many a travel partnership! Congratulations on that! Where are you going next week?